Oh The Times.....They Are A-changing....

My week started with a kick in the chest from a dying deer. Here's where it went from there:

The nation is in a financial crisis. I don't know if I'll have a retirement, insurance, or Social Security. The State legislature is in special session, cutting every agency's budget to make up for a sudden $275 million deficit! Just weeks ago, we had a huge surplus. Where did it go? Am I the only one asking? Who, pray tell, is keeping the books -- or cooking them?

The only budget protected from cuts right now is Education. Good for me, huh? Sadly, no. If Education can't be touched, our little South Park Academy becomes part of the Corrections budget, which CAN be cut. So, cut they did. They've let all of our part time teachers go, no night school, no summer school next year, no new hires to replace anyone who retires this year. Oh! And don't forget, several of us are sitting there with $1,000's worth of Interwrite boards that we can't use! I've already shared my feelings about that fiasco, I believe.

Corrections has already let 17 upper level officers go. Needless to say, moral is keeping company with the slings and arrows of misfortune in the nether world.

And then out of nowhere comes this bright spot. The ConQuest director asked me to be the keynote speaker at Graduation, which was held last week. Let's see, how do you paint a hopeful future for guys who are leaving prison with what they think are new skills and a fresh determination to make it on the outside, when the outside is as corrupt and grueling as the inside? The Big House or the White House -- it all gets mixed up sometimes.

Anyway, I delivered my commencement address. I was a whole lot nervous and a little bit funny. I tried to remember to talk slowly and look individuals in the eye. I willed my hands not to shake and tried not to bump the microphone with my teeth. When it was all said and done, 100+ convicted felons and their hopeful families stood on their feet and applauded.

That might not ring your chimes, but it was cathedral bells for me!

Oh Deer, What Can The Matter Be?

So here's the scene: I stayed home from school on Monday because......well I......ah......just because I wanted to and thought I deserved a day off! There's nobody here I have to answer to, right? Anyway, I was lounging around, playing computer games, and tinkering with the ConQuest graduation speech I'm giving tomorrow when Dale called upstairs with a slightly frazzled, "I need your help!"



I came running of course and followed him outside and two doors up, where a deer had attempted to jump the neighbor's fence -- the fence that clearly was too high -- the fence that sits on always-moist mushy grass -- the fence that has arrowhead shaped spikes about every 4 inches. You guessed it. The poor little guy, he was a young buck, had impaled himself in the lower gut, but he was hanging completely off the ground!



Sadly, he was still very much alive and clearly panicked beyond belief. We tried to approach him quietly, but it didn't matter. He started to struggle. So we each grasped one of his hind legs and started to lift him skyward, trying to clear the spikes that pierced him. The fence itself was about chest high for me, so lifting something that heavy straight up required almost more strength than I had. It was easier for Dale because he's of course taller and stronger than I am, but it was too awkward for him to lift both legs and the full weight of the deer high enough,



Adrenaline, sheer determination, or lack of alternatives, whatever it was, we were able to lift him clear of the spikes. But there was no chance of putting him down on the ground gently. As soon as he was free, he started to kick, and caught me right in the chest. We had no choice but to drop him on the other side of the fence where he struggled to get away, but he was bleeding profusely and clearly had no strength left.



I hurried in to call Animal Control. They sent a couple of officers out who confirmed that the deer was mortally wounded. The Animal Services officer came in our direction and said they were indeed going to put the animal down. I said I definitely didn't need to see that, so I turned to walk away. But I had barely turned when I heard the shot! Geez! Give me 5 seconds to get in the house, can't ya?!



Anyway, it was traumatic and more upsetting than I would've thought. Today I have a good-sized bruise just over my heart. Dale said it's a love-bruise because I did a good thing in helping him free the poor thing. I told him I'm not faking sick anymore.

I'm Baaaacccckkkkk..........

Long time no blog. That's because I refuse to teach during the summer, then I went to Norway, then I got all involved in knitting, reading, quilting, and my emboidery machine -- all of which are incredibly boring to the average person. Not that my life at the prison is all that interesting. But at least it's a slice of life that most of you don't get to see (or don't want to know about)....or whatever.

So here's the latest.

Our humble little pseudo-school tried to take a leap of faith into the 21st century by purchasing the latest in teaching technology - the Smart Board. It's actually an Interwrite Board, which is a competitor of the Smart Board, but I like the catchy name.....Smart Board, so, much to the dismay of the Interwrite Board rep, I call it my Smart Board. He even went so far as to say, "You need to remember: Smart Board: bad; Interwrite Board: good." Isn't he so clever? I still call it my Smart Board, which, by the way, it ain't! As I shall no doubt explain.

The whole concept, you see, is that this 4' x 6' rolling board, through the wonder of Blue Tooth technology, becomes the desktop of my computer. I have a special smart pen that works like the mouse on my computer. I can write, click and drag, select, cut and paste, navigate -- all that cool stuff that you can do with your mouse. Sounds cool huh? Then there's this desk top pad (about the size of a laptop) that comes with it. And with this remarkable innovation, you can give it to any student, and whatever they write on the pad, magically appears on the Smart Board screen. Better and better, huh? What it means is that nobody has to get off their fat ass to do anything. We can just sit comfortably on our butts and, with the click or stroke of a magic pen, interact without having to come into close proximity. Are you sold yet?

Here's what they DON'T tell you:

1. To make your computer and the Smart Board talk to each other, in addition to the Blue Tooth connection, you have to have a projector which connects to the computer via a 25' heavy duty cable that's about as easy to move as a fire hose. Then of course, another power cable runs to one of only 3 outlets in the room -- another hazard to be negotiated all day long.

2. That really cool desk top pad? The one that allows a student's work to be displayed? He can't SEE what he's writing! That's right, it's blind writing, but every movement of the pen is projected. The average human with even above average intelligence can't even produce their own name legibly, let alone an algebraic equation like 21x+3=46. My first comment upon learning this? How tough could it be to make it like an Etch-A-Sketch? The rep tells me there's a bit of a learning curve involved. So I guess I should hand the pad to a student, tell him to practice for 30 minutes, then do problem #7 for all of us. Who ARE these people?

3. This is the best part. There's been an update to the system since our purchase of 5 of these systems last May. All you have to do is go online and download the update. Very calmly, I say, "We don't have internet access." Mr. Rep says, "What do you mean you don't have internet access?" Still fairly calmly, I explain, "This is a prison. None of the classrooms have the internet. Can you get us the update on CD so we can bring it in and install it?" Mr. Rep says, "You'd have to pay for it." A little less calmly, I say, "But we just paid nearly $10,000 for this system. Doesn't that give us the update that was clearly in place if not yet distributed when we purchased this piece of .......ingenuity?" "Sadly, no."

Still trying to make a go of this thing, I offer the following: "The site secretary up in the office has the internet. Can we download it there, to a CD, then bring it back to my classroom and install it on my computer?"
Know what he said? This smart rep? "Well......now you're asking a computer question!"

Honest to God, I'm not making this up!

End result is this. I don't have the update. What I DO have, doesn't work properly or completely. None of the felons can write anything coherent or legible on the desk top pad, but they sure like to play with it. It takes 20 minutes in the morning to set this system up, we step over the cables all day long, and it takes 30 minutes to break it down and lock it up every evening (another wrinkle no one bothered to explain to Mr. Rep. who tried to tell me the beauty of this system is that it's all ready to go every morning as soon as you turn your computer on).

Long story short -- I'm not happy with the Smart Board. As a matter of fact I'm Bored with the Smart Board. Give me the $2000 you spent on my portion of this fiasco and let me buy textbooks, pencils, erasers, and paper. Throw in a few sets of flashcards, and I might be able to actually teach these guys something. Oh no, sorry, that's a different budget altogether. We have "technology money", not "textbook money". GIVE ME A BREAK!!! (just not a prison break!)