"SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!"

Okay, this would be me today. Not one of my more inspired teaching moments to say the least. You know, every individual class develops its own unique personality. I've known this since my first year of teaching. In a typical classroom, you expect to have a full range of abilities, 3 or 4 ADD (attention deficit disorder) kids, 2 or 3 BD's (behaviorially disordered), maybe 1 or 2 physically handicapped, a handful of whiners, a smattering of troublemakers, and if you're lucky a dozen or so students who are interested in learning something.

Granted, a classroom of 18 adult prison inmates isn't a typical situation. But I swear, my Monday/Wednesday flock has developed the unique personality of an ADD-BD-whining-troublemaker-who-says-whatever-the-hell-random-thought-pops-into-his-head-and-has-to pee-every-hour-on-the-hour. I'm not talking here about 1 or 2 students, I'm saying 15 of the 18 of them share these maladies. Of the other three, one is totally deaf, and the other two think they're both smarter than I am! I endure this group for 3 straight hours every Monday and Wednesday morning. And my Monday/Wednesday afternoon class is only marginally better. I leave the prison on those two days exhausted and longing for a double shot of something amber colored, really strong, straight out of a bottle.

I'm too old for this. THEY'RE too old for this. Even 6th graders understood when they'd pushed me to the edge. But not this group, no, they entertain themselves and each other by trying to be the funniest, the most outrageous, the grossest, the baddest one of the bunch. It's almost humiliating (or should be) to have to tell adults, "You need to sit down and get busy" or "I'm sorry. Am I interrupting your conversation with Mr. So-and-so?" or "Which part of GET-TO-WORK don't you understand?" All of which, led me to a dramatic, high volume, "SHUT THE HELL UP!!!"

Tonight, I'm tired. I've been worn down by drug-lovin' deadbeats. I yelled at a room full of criminals who outweigh me by 50 to 150 lbs. My favorite student is totally deaf. Tomorrow is only Thrusday. And for all of this, I rake in an extra $27 a month hazard pay.

I'm going to bed.