New Year's Revolving Resolutions

And here it is! Time to drag out the same old resolutions, dust them off, and give them a little exercise. If history is any indication, the workout will last until about mid-February. With a bit of a push, maybe even by the Ides of March. But thankfully, they'll be tucked safely back in the vault by my birthday.

There's a sign at the prison prominently displayed between the sliders so you have something to contemplate while you're trapped in that No-Man's-Land where you're completely at the mercy of someone you don't know and can't see. He/she literally has your life in his/her hands because he/she can sit for agonizing minutes with a finger poised over the button that can perform daily minor miracles. He/she actually has many options. Among them:

a. Ignore you completely as you stare expectantly at the steel bars of your little prison.

b. Push the button, but release it too soon, so you're left looking at an opening that would admit a runway model, but no mature woman carrying a midsection that represents the knowledge and experience of 60 years of living and learning.

c. Activate the slider for entry, but start it closing before you've managed to complete your passage through. They're not like garage doors that sense a solid object and stop before they crush you. Oh no, these doors can (and gruesomely have) literally squeezed the life out of the not-quick-enough.

d. OR, on a good day, the unseen operator opens the slider promptly, waits while you pass through, closes it comfortably behind you, and anticipates your arrival at the next gate. On a REALLY good day, a disembodied voice might actually greet you and insist you have a good day.

ANYWAY, while you consider the possibilities concerning the reinforced sliders, your eye falls upon the sign. It says:

INSANITY: Doing the same thing over and over again
But expecting a different result.
Do Something Different!

My eye is drawn to the sign probably a dozen times each day. I can't even stop my mind from reading it a dozen times each day. And yet........I make the same tired resolutions every year! Why am I surprised that convicted felons don't get the message when an educated, well-intentioned, insightful person like myself can't make the mental leap?

Oh well, uncork that bottle of champaign, wipe the dust off those damn scales, and let's try this once more.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!